Worn and Dented

I went to a casual dinner with my husband the other night and he took a picture of me to send to our son Will in college. He beamed at me and said, “you look great.” I thanked him and asked him if he would send it to me too…I hesitantly share the aforementioned ‘great’ picture with you below.

This just in, breaking news, love is blind. At first, I was mortified – although it is clear that I’m happy and having a great time, physically – I am a tattered version of the woman he married.  

But here’s the thing.  That’s just on the outside. On the inside, I’m a thousand times stronger than that young woman who walked down the aisle. I have found the strength to be there for my family, every day. I have walked bravely away from relationships that left me sad and made me doubt myself. I have been a fierce advocate for my boys and I have found ways to show my love for my dear friends, even when my daily life was complete chaos. I’ve shown up for my Nana when she was battling dementia at the end of her life and I was by my mom’s side every step of the way during her battle with leukemia. I am far from the shiniest, most beautiful sword…

But, I am winning the war.  And, I’m managing to have lots of fun along the way. And in my birthday month, I can tell you that given the alternative, I’d rather keep looking worse as long as I can keep having birthdays. I hope I get to leave this Earth (a long long time from now) worn and dented and cracked from all the battles fought and the happy memories I have made along the way.

So, my addition to this Wednesday Wisdom is to smile for the camera…it certainly won’t make you look any worse! Although my recent photo is proof that it won’t help that much either, wink. I can assure you, the people who love you will treasure the photo of you smiling because of all you mean to them, not because of how you look.