To Santa or Not to Santa…

That is the question.  Although we never made a big deal about Santa to Mikey and we only did one photo with Santa when the boys were teeny-tiny…I’m not firmly on one side of this debate or the other.  I just want to share the two arguments so you can think through what might work better for your child.

Pro Santa

People who go all-in on selling Santa to their kids are doing it from a place of love.  They want to carry on the tradition and create the magic for their children.  They want their kids to be able to write the letter to Santa and get the photo and experience the wonder of a Christmas morning created by the jolly old man in the sleigh. They might do Elf on the Shelf, who watches for good behavior throughout December.  Maybe they have older kids who are typical, and they already started the Santa tradition with their older ones.

The Cons

At some point, you will need to explain that Santa is not real.  For our kids with autism, their thinking can be rigid.  If they fully understand the idea of Santa, it may at first cause them some anxiety (strange guy, sneaking in and out of the house without anyone knowing).  Then, it may be tough for them to switch gears to understand that it was all pretend.  They may also struggle to distinguish between a lie and a harmless ruse to create extra fun.

Our Mikey has cognitive delays in addition to his autism.  I had concerns about teaching him that it was okay to sit on a stranger’s lap.  I wanted to help him build some boundaries around strangers, especially since he is such a loving and accepting kid.

Our Compromise

Here’s where we landed.  When Will was young, he did believe in Santa.  He wrote his letter and I helped Mikey write one too.  We never did photos after that first year (if I ever find that photo, I’ll share it with you). We didn’t talk too much about Santa with Mikey, except to teach him that Santa says, “Ho Ho Ho,” which Mikey still loves to say, with gusto! Then, once Will learned about Mom and Dad buying the presents, we just kept writing ‘From Santa’ on some of them – just for fun.  I don’t think either of my boys were permanently damaged by any of this, but we can check in with them later in life and see if any issues have popped up. Wink.