Thought Process

Giving your child opportunities to do things independently is important, but none of us want to put our kids in danger. I hope today’s post will demonstrate how I thought through these issues with a special needs child.

Here’s an informative post on how we decided to let Mikey walk up from the bus by himself, but we decided not to let him wait for the bus on his own in the morning.

When Mikey was a toddler, he sat in the shopping cart like most little ones. Right around that time, we met a mom with a son with autism who was about 5 years older than Mikey. His mom still had him sitting in the shopping cart and something about that worried me. Back then, there were no shopping carts that held special needs adults. Now, they’re available at many stores. They’re called Caroline’s Cart, and you can search to see if they are available at stores near you.

But back then, my concern was that if this mom waited too long to teach her child how to walk with her at the grocery store, what would she do if he got too big and too fast for her to be able to take him safely.  There was no Instacart then either.

Even with these accommodations and services available for people who need them, I wanted Mikey to be able to do things independently when possible. So, when he was young, I started teaching him how to be with me in the grocery store without being strapped into a cart. Over time, he got used to it and now, he can push the cart himself and pick out items he would like.

So, each time I need to decide if Mikey is ready for a particular skill, we start by thinking it through.  If your child has any behaviors that would cause safety concerns like elopement or destruction of store property, don’t tackle this skill right now. If you think your child might be okay to walk with you in the store, do a trial run. Sometimes ABA Therapists call it a probe – just a little research to determine your child’s skill level. Don’t have the other kids with you at this point unless they are helpful in times of struggle. See how it goes, keep it short and sweet.  Buy one or two things, go through the fastest checkout line and hold hands in the parking lot back to the car.  Over time, gradually turn over more responsibility to your child, letting them do the things that are safe for them. In this way, they will learn and grow to be as independent as possible and they will feel strong and capable.