The Unknown
I remember when Mikey was diagnosed. I felt that so much was unknown. What would his life be like? How would we help him? How would we make sure Will had everything he needed while meeting Mikey’s sometimes overwhelming needs?
Then, for a while, we got into a good routine. We had many years of school left and we knew what to do and what to expect. It was just a question of finding the energy to keep going.
Now, as we look ahead to Michael moving into his planned community in the next few years, I feel back where I was at the beginning. I have a million questions about what his days will look like. Will he be successful there? What else should I be teaching him to help him settle in easily and be as independent as possible? His community is currently being built, so I can’t go visit or tour or meet current residents. There is so much that is out of my control.
So, I’m doing what I did at the beginning. I’m logically teaching all the skills I know will help. I’m encouraging Mikey to be independent in all areas where he is able. I’m asking questions of his school personnel who have lots of experience transitioning kids to adulthood. And then, I am taking a deep breath and letting go of my fears (as much as I can).
The reality is, I’ll be seeing Mikey every day when he first moves out. I will check on him so much, he’ll probably develop the teenage eye-roll. If he’s not okay there, he won’t stay there. We’re just giving him the opportunity to try. We’re going to support him and work with the staff in his residential community to help him find happiness and success there.
But, as always, if we need to pivot, we will. Our buddy will always be okay because we will make sure he is okay. Truthfully, I will probably struggle with him moving out more than he will, but he deserves the chance to have a full, exciting life of his own.
In order to let him try, I need to let my own fears go. Deep breaths, Momma. He is strong and sweet and determined and he loves to be around other people…he’s probably going to love it there!
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About the Author
Erica Mauro is a mom to two teenage boys, Will who is neurotypical and Michael with Autism and cognitive delays. She holds a BA in Psychology from Colgate University and a Masters of Psychology in Education from Columbia Teacher’s College. Before staying home with her children, she worked as an elementary school teacher. For five years, she served on the Board of Directors of the Molly Ann Tango Memorial Foundation, a charity dedicated to enriching the lives of children with special needs. In partnership with her husband Dave, she aspires to parent by using daily life as an opportunity for therapeutic intervention, seizing on real experiences as opportunities to build skills and strategies for Michael in a joyful, loving home environment. On the tougher early days, she just tried to get everyone safely to bedtime and start fresh in the morning. *wink* 
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Erica this is so true of so many of us parents raising children with disabilities ( and without!). But you have to remember how truly blessed and lucky you all are to have each-other throughout this whole journey. How much you’ve taught Mikey and how much he’s taught you.
You will undoubtedly have mixed emotions but you’ll always do what’s best for Mikey as you always have.
Much love, Deb
Thank you, Deb! I always appreciate your perspective…you’re the best! We truly do feel blessed and I hope the families who are newer to this journey see the joy we have had (and are having) throughout our journey.
You are so wise!
Thanks, Adore! I’m trying to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for the families that come along behind us. When we first started parenting, there wasn’t much out there for families like us. My hope is that if I share our journey, challenges and successes, their path will be a bit clearer.