The Hill

A brief introduction because I cannot claim to be the Autism Sherpa* herself. My name is Will Mauro. I am Erica’s neurotypical son and Mikey’s older brother. Mikey’s journal entry on this date ten years ago struck me, since it was one of the first instances of Mikey and I engaging in an activity separately that we normally loved to do together. 

We had a delayed opening from school due to snow and my mom and I decided to spend it sledding on the hill in our backyard. Naturally, we asked Mikey to join us, but were met with a resounding “No.” 

As many typical siblings are, Mikey and I were virtually inseparable as young kids. We did everything together, from trips to the movies to piggyback rides through the shallow end of the pool. This is the time during which most special needs children and their neurotypical siblings are closest as peers, right up at the top of the sledding hill, side by side. 

Over time, however, as we both grew older, but Mikey’s developmental age stayed very similar, we began to enjoy fewer of the same activities. There were points during that time where I felt that my brother and I were drifting apart as we barreled down that metaphorical sledding hill towards adulthood. This is a feeling many typical kids experience with their special needs siblings. I found that the best remedy was a simple change of perspective. 

A Change of Perspective

When Mikey and I would sled together, there was no telling what kind of adventure we’d get up to. Whether it would end with the construction of a makeshift igloo, a poorly planned snowman, an all-out snowball war with our dad or simply with the two of us face down in the powdery lawn below, there was one constant. Mom was always there making sure we didn’t go hurdling into the bushes when we reached the bottom of that hill. There comes a point in every typical sibling’s life where a shift occurs. I went from barreling down the hill right beside my kid brother, to helping Mom play goalkeeper between him and the pesky shrubbery that lined our back porch. 

Becoming a Mentor

To all the siblings out there, if you notice less in common than you once had with your special needs brother or sister, try not to think of it as a rift between you and them, but as a shifting of your role in their life. Become a mentor for them. Help them to learn and grow whenever you see an opportunity. Believe me, your parents could use the extra set of hands. Just remember that being a mentor on the sledding hill that is your journey with your special needs sibling doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy time with them. 

Finding Common Ground

When Mom and I were done sledding, I went straight inside to enjoy a mug of hot chocolate with my little brother, chock full of mini marshmallows – just the way we both love it to this day. 

*To learn more about the reference to The Autism Sherpa, click the link below.