The Deep End of the Pool

What a great metaphor! We have all felt like special-needs parenting is the real-life version of jumping into the deep end of the pool. Taking small steps each day to enrich our children’s lives and build their skills is our way of taking steady strokes to swim ourselves and our kids into shallower waters. See what I did there?

It’s funny that our first journal entry starts with an accomplishment because there can be times when these seem few and far between. Michael was just mastering jumping into the deep end of the pool, but like so many skills – this took a lot of work! 

It began with swim lessons at our local Y, geared towards special needs kids. Although our focus here at Mikey’s Journal is family life, I think Red Cross swim lessons are very important. Kids with autism are often drawn to water and Red Cross swim lessons are focused on preventing drowning.  They are offered at reasonable prices through local YMCAs. If this is beyond your means, check with local charities or the local Y to see about financial help.

Once Michael was a competent swimmer and safe around the water, we noticed him watching the other kids jump into the pool.  Then he would stand with them and bend his knees like they did, but he was afraid to jump.  We began by having Michael jump from one of the steps of the pool, then from the side in the shallow end and then from the side in the deep end. 

Starting with an easier version of the skill, an approximation, allowed Michael to have success and then slowly moving toward his goal of being able to jump off the rock like the other kids.

Note: Will, our older son and Michael’s big brother, is a neurotypical kid who is one year older than Mikey.  You will read a lot about Will, who has been an amazing big brother to Michael! Too many great qualities to list here, but you’ll see. Trust me.

Big ideas:

• Let your child guide you.
  • This was Michael’s goal. It was something he demonstrated that he wanted to learn, even without words.  Helping your child with things that are important to them, shows them that you value their autonomy.
• Help them find their voice.
  • We could tell by Michael’s face that he was proud. Teaching him to label that emotion helped build his vocabulary, but also his self-awareness.
• Approximations are a great way to inch towards a bigger goal
  • This can work for many different situations. For example, if your child cannot say a complete word, maybe the sound “m” can begin as the way to request milk. It’s not the whole word, but by rewarding the approximation, you are enabling communication and you can build from there.

Today’s Blatantly Obvious Disclaimer: 

Never let your child swim unattended. Watch them every second.