So What?
“Carly’s parents let her play Xbox during the week!”
“Johnny doesn’t need to read before he watches TV!”
“Sean doesn’t need to wear a jacket when it’s cold.”
To these concerns and those like them, I say, “So what?”
Maybe Carly has a list of chores and once they’re done and her homework is checked, she is allowed to play Xbox for a set amount of time. Maybe Johnny needs help with his reading so his parents schedule that time once they are home from work and dinner is done. Maybe Sean is a royal pain in the you-know-where and his parents are picking their battles and getting through the day.
For everyone, but especially those of us who have kids with special needs, it’s only important to parent the kid you’ve got! You’re the expert on what your kids need.
Furthermore
Your values are not the only factor. I am obsessed with making sure I eat a variety of organic veggies and fruits each week. I keep them in the house and I wash and cut them so we can all access them easily. Until recently neither of my kids cared one bit about this (my college kid now appreciates that this makes eating healthful foods much easier). While growing up, they would eat the ones they liked and leave the ones they didn’t. My veggie-focused parenting ‘ideal’ mattered very little in the practical raising of my boys.
In addition, there are myriad other variables which impact your parenting choices: your financial situation, the other children in your family, the activities your children do, your parenting philosophy, whether you have pets, and on and on. Your family is unique. There is no need to compare yourself to what other parents are doing, even when your kids bring these comparisons home to you.
So, I share with you this post from Humor in Autism (in full support of the message, if not the grammar):
Providing your child the support they need may mean the ‘rules’ are different in your house than the house down the street. Just make the best decisions for your own little people and let the rest go. Peace, my friends.
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About the Author
Erica Mauro is a mom to two teenage boys, Will who is neurotypical and Michael with Autism and cognitive delays. She holds a BA in Psychology from Colgate University and a Masters of Psychology in Education from Columbia Teacher’s College. Before staying home with her children, she worked as an elementary school teacher. For five years, she served on the Board of Directors of the Molly Ann Tango Memorial Foundation, a charity dedicated to enriching the lives of children with special needs. In partnership with her husband Dave, she aspires to parent by using daily life as an opportunity for therapeutic intervention, seizing on real experiences as opportunities to build skills and strategies for Michael in a joyful, loving home environment. On the tougher early days, she just tried to get everyone safely to bedtime and start fresh in the morning. *wink* 
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