Setting Expectations

Raising special needs kids gives us a unique lens into growing up. Before I had children, I was an elementary school teacher at elite private schools in the New York and Boston areas. I most certainly expected excellence from my students on all fronts.  There were no children with profound special needs in any of my classes at those schools. They are schools geared towards college preparation.

So, when I saw this post from ‘Your Natural Learner’ I was moved.

I feel this captures my evolution as an educator and parent. I want my own children, my typical son and my special needs son to know their innate value. I want them to understand that they are a gift from God to me and to my husband. 

I don’t care at all if they can’t do algebra. That said, I want them to be respectful to their teachers. I want them to try hard and pay attention in whatever class they attend, whether that is advanced calculus or cooking class. I want them to be kind to their peers and take their responsibilities seriously.

But I hope they know that they don’t need to be perfect at everything to have my love and approval. I love them just as much on the days they struggle as on the days they succeed.

So

As the new school year settles in and your child starts to come upon some challenges, this might be a good time to remind them that you love them no matter what! You can let them know that if they are struggling, they can come to you, and you will try to help. Remind them that your core values revolve around kindness and effort, not achievement.