Self Pity

Normally, I am of the belief that just because there are people in the world who have a worse fate, it is still okay to feel burdened by or complain about your situation.  For example, a person who is caring for an aging parent with Alzheimers has the right to feel the burden of that, even though there are people doing so with fewer resources and greater demands. A person who loses a parent as an adult feels an acute loss, while acknowledging that there are kids who need to go through that at a far more tender age.

But, when it comes to parenting Mikey, I really try not to focus on the impact on me. I acknowledge that the responsibility of it is heavy, but I attempt to steer clear of self-pity.  This quote from The Things We Cannot Say rings true for me.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t things I find exhausting or frustrating or exasperating…believe me when I tell you, there are all of those things. But if I go down the self-pity black hole of insanity, how am I going to motivate to do all of the things that my family needs? How will I motivate to exercise and make healthy meals and do all the things that I need? How will any of us benefit from me wallowing around in the fact that my life is not exactly how I pictured it.

Here’s the Deal!

If it is true that no matter how bad I have it, there is someone who has it worse…

Then it is also true that no matter how good any of us have it, there is someone who has it better.

That means everyone can either choose to focus on their blessings or their challenges.

Every life is complex, filled with both blessings and challenges. Our job is to play the hand we’re dealt, with grace and dignity and show our kids that no matter what happens, we show up for each other.  There’s just not that much time to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves.