Birthdays

To protect their privacy, I won’t share my boys’ exact birthdays on the blog.  They both have summer birthdays, so I will share Mikey’s journal entries about their birthdays on random days so we can talk about these exciting and sometimes chaotic milestones.  I’ll share how we handled birthdays with our boys.

How Would Your Child Like to Celebrate?

First, as tempting as it might be to throw your child the birthday party you would want, celebrate their birthday the way they want.  In 2013, for Michael, that was a simple day out with the family visiting a petting zoo and eating cotton candy.  

We will revisit birthday ideas for your special needs child, but I want to touch on an important idea here first…sibling birthdays.

It’s All About the Birthday Boy!

Will wanted a pool party, so that’s what we did. This is one of those family moments when you want your child with special needs to be there to celebrate with his/her siblings, BUT this day is really about the BIRTHDAY KID. If the activity is not appropriate for your special needs child, it is fine to ask a friend or family member to help watch your special needs child at the party so you can focus on your birthday boy/girl. I remember one party at which my niece came to ‘shadow’ Mikey. We were all there together celebrating, but my husband and I paid her to ‘babysit’ and she kept Michael happy and engaged so we could celebrate Will without worry. We could also keep careful watch on the pool.

Think Outside the Box

You are uniquely qualified to think outside the box to meet the diverse needs of your family members. Don’t worry too much about what other people say…no one else is walking in your shoes. If your typical kid wants a day at the amusement park and that is your special needs child’s worst nightmare, I think it would be wonderful to grant the birthday kid’s wish and then set aside a separate special moment to have cupcakes together and sing Happy Birthday with their special sibling.  

Always Include and Accept No

Our mantra is to always include Michael by inviting him to join and if he does not want to do that, we find another way. For him, that might mean saying and singing happy birthday to Will, choosing and wrapping a present, and signing his name on a card.  Only you can help your family navigate these occasions, but trust yourself and honor your kids’ feelings.  Enjoy your celebrations!