Play Dates

Play dates caused me so much stress when Michael was little.  I felt pressure to have everything go well. 

Play dates were almost always at our house. When Michael was young, he put non-food items in his mouth often and it could be dangerous. As a result, he needed a different level of supervision than other kids his age. To keep him safe, I invited friends to our house so that I could watch out for Mikey and help facilitate him engaging with his friends. I could also pick some activities that I thought might go well.

Activity Ideas

When the kids are young, simple board games are great for play dates.  Coloring pages are fun to have on hand as an option.  We often did outside activities like swimming, going to local playgrounds or hiking. 

A big source of unnecessary stress for me was the fact that Michael liked to play with toys that were for younger kids.  I considered putting away the toys that were meant for babies and young kids and just leaving out Will’s toys, but I wasn’t sure what Michael would do if all the toys he was used to playing with were put away.  I ended up deciding to own it.  I let him be himself and it turned out to be best for everyone involved.

Dancing to the beat of your own drum helps you find your tribe!

Here’s the thing…if he wasn’t allowed to be himself on the play dates, how could he find the kids who truly wanted to hang out with HIM?  It turns out, the toys were not a big deal at all!  The kids who liked Michael and wanted to hang out with him were just happy to be with him. And Will’s toys were there too for more age-appropriate options.  For some kids, it was also fun to revisit toys they used to play with when they were younger. They saw themselves in the role of leader and the good example. It was really good for them too!

One Thought…

By welcoming kids into your home and helping them learn about your child, you are doing so much more than just putting out crayons and a snack! These are kids who have kind, inclusive hearts. They want to connect with your child. These may be future teachers, therapists, doctors or parents. They are definitely going to be part of many communities that include people with special needs. Exposure to kids who are different broadens their minds. They are a gift to our children, but our children are a gift to them too! Remind yourself that you and your child have nothing to be ashamed of…then welcome people into your circle with open arms.

I know the vulnerability is real! Not every play date will be a raging success, but I think taking the risk is really worth it! If you need support, maybe asking the child’s mom to stay might be one way to make sure things go smoothly. Maybe a cousin or other family member of yours can stop by to help out. Think outside the box to create the situation in which your child can be most successful. At the beginning, think: short and sweet! Keep it simple and keep it positive and then do it again soon!

Journal Bonus!

Once Michael took his journal to school and the other kids saw that H had come for a playdate, they wanted to come over too!

Names and faces of friends and family are always obscured to protect the privacy of the wonderful, loving people who have been a part of our family’s story.