Mimi Visit

As you know by now, my parents were divorced.  They had been divorced since the time I was about 6 (give or take, divorce takes a long time and marriages are often pretty much over before the whole process even begins). Anyway, this is only relevant in the sense that my mom had remarried much later in life so the two of us had been a nuclear family of two for many years. We were very close, we talked every day at least once and we loved spending time together. She remarried later in life, after I had graduated from college and was no longer living at home.

So, sometimes she’d come and visit us while her husband went to visit his grandkids who lived in the next town over.  Or sometimes, he’d stay down at their condo in Florida and she would come up to Connecticut to stay with us. We loved Pop and sometimes we did things as a big blended family, but often, my mom would come see us on her own.

Her December visit was a staple for a while.  The Christmas break from school had become total chaos. We were trying to see three families, do all of the other Christmas activities and still find time to send cards and wrap presents and pull together some kind of gift for the dozen people who worked with Mikey at school, not to mention something for Will’s teachers too. It was craziness.

My mom and her husband and my Nana-Ru (my mom’s mom) had come to stay with us during that week for a couple of years, but I had to figure out a different way. It was way too much stimulation for Michael and it was making the holiday stressful.

So, my mom and I talked about it and decided that we had a perfect solution.  She really wanted quiet time to spend with the kids and with me and Dave. We both wanted it to be a ‘Christmas Visit’ so the halls would be decked and she would be a part of our holiday season.  The added bonus of a ‘before Christmas’ visit was that the kids were in school so I got some quiet time with her during the day and then the kids got her full attention in the afternoons and evenings.  It worked out famously!

I know those conversations can be hard. I felt guilty because I wanted my mom to feel like she was welcome at my house always, but the truth is, she had felt the stress of the Christmas week too! We each wanted to come up with a better solution and in the end, we did.  We just needed to have the open conversation to make it happen.

For another article about my mom and September 11, 2001, click this link: