Melting Down

For those of you without kids on the spectrum, a meltdown is a different situation than a tantrum or defiant behavior.  It is a situation in which the sensory overload and expectations of the world cause an extreme reaction. It may look scary to onlookers. The child might be yelling loudly, self-injuring or lashing out towards others. They are really not in control of themselves and experienced parents have learned that their best course of action is to gently provide as much supervision and support as possible to keep their child safe.

Meltdowns are more common during the holidays because our schedules are different, new friends and family are visiting our home, there are sweet treats around every corner and even familiar outings involve blaring holiday music and extra lights. I am able to process sensory input pretty well as a typical adult and I OFTEN feel overwhelmed by the holiday festivities.

I am thankful that @ourmamavillage shared this on Instagram to remind us that these meltdowns are not anyone’s fault AND that there are some things we can do to help.

My favorite of these is “They need you to be their calm.” I love it because it applies to every parent. Just because your child is upset does not mean you need to ride the wave of emotion with them. You can remain calm and patient. This took me some time to learn as a parent. I’m better at it now than I was when we started this journey (not perfect, but better).

Be their Calm

You can’t reason with them when they are this upset, but you can keep your cool and do your best to keep them safe.  By keeping your wits about you, you can explain to others what is happening and what they may be able to do to help.  You won’t be able to make the meltdowns stop entirely, but you can make the situation as manageable as possible by staying calm.

One Last Thing

I know how awful it feels to need to be thinking about managing meltdowns during the holidays, during family vacations, and every time you venture into public spaces. I understand the pressure that carries and I see you. You’re doing the best you can, so just keep up the great work and find a little time today to pat yourself on the back for keeping everything running. Note, I did not say, “running smoothly”…I’m right there with you. Just keep it running, for now and don’t add any extra stress to your December.

Sending hugs and a promise that January’s routine will bring some relief.