Managing Overwhelm

We all recognize the signs that our child is getting overwhelmed. We look for quick exit routes, but what if there are none available?

We were out at the store the other day and I noticed Mikey getting agitated. There was a loud family near us and another family with a baby whose cries were ramping up. They seemed to be getting louder by the second.  We were pinned in the aisle between them, and I didn’t see a clear exit path.

I pulled the cart to the right side of the aisle, and I asked Mikey to sit down. The cart was behind him, and I stood in front of him to create a perception of a smaller, safer space for him. Just this small step helped Michael to calm slightly. Then I could cue him to take deep breaths and wait for the families to pass us by. Once the environment was quieter, I was able to ask Mikey to stand up, and we quickly finished our shopping and safely went on our way.

Practice

I strongly recommend practicing this skill when your child is not agitated. Practice it often – just ask your child to sit down – and then hand them a toy or something they like. Maybe ask them to sit down and then give them some encouragement, “Great job sitting down!” Making it automatic will help when they are starting to get overwhelmed.

In the Moment

In a heightened situation, the earlier you can ask them to sit down, the better. They will be more able to listen to you and follow instructions before emotions take over. It is less likely that your child will bolt or grab or push someone if they are seated. It genuinely seems to help them center themselves. If you have a stress ball or something soft to focus their attention, that might help as well.

Remember to be their calm, even when you’re worried yourself.