Like Walking the Dog
Raising Mikey has been astonishingly similar to walking our dog. Sonny is an energetic, lovable and easily distracted black lab. Although we might hope for a smooth, steady, consistent pace from start to finish, that’s just not in the cards.
Sometimes Sonny is yanking the leash, darting ahead at break-neck speed. He’s sprinting and frustrated with me that my middle-aged mom legs won’t keep up. Then, in the blink of an eye, he has stopped by the side of the trail. He’s sniffing and processing and getting all the information he can about this little patch of ground. It feels like he is there forever. I pause the apple watch…not getting much exercise on this ‘walk.’ I’m feeling impatient. Forward progress is the goal, and it’s not happening.
I have no clue why we have stopped. But Sonny is telling me that it is important. He needs some time. All I can do is wait for him to gather up whatever information this scent bonanza is giving him. I’m always there on the other end of the leash, but I can’t drag him forward. He has to be the one to decide that it is time for him to move again.
The same is true of our special kiddos…actually, it’s true of all kiddos. It will seem like our child has hit a plateau on a certain skill. They don’t seem to be making much progress. Sometimes, they even backslide. We wait patiently (or not) and we keep providing the support they need, loving them every step of the way. Then, without notice, they start to race ahead. They make big leaps and look to us to keep up.
If we graphed their progress on each skill over time, the graph would look like a zillion zig-zag lines with no rhyme or reason to any of it, but overall, there would be an upward trend. Over time, we’re moving in the right direction. Not every minute, on every skill; but in general, we’re getting there. So, keep at it. You’re doing a great job and your kiddo is doing a great job. Maybe you’d like to celebrate like Sonny…with a well-deserved nap.
For more, here’s another article about helping your child along their own unique journey. https://mikeysjournal.com/be-the-sherpa/
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About the Author
Erica Mauro is a mom to two teenage boys, Will who is neurotypical and Michael with Autism and cognitive delays. She holds a BA in Psychology from Colgate University and a Masters of Psychology in Education from Columbia Teacher’s College. Before staying home with her children, she worked as an elementary school teacher. For five years, she served on the Board of Directors of the Molly Ann Tango Memorial Foundation, a charity dedicated to enriching the lives of children with special needs. In partnership with her husband Dave, she aspires to parent by using daily life as an opportunity for therapeutic intervention, seizing on real experiences as opportunities to build skills and strategies for Michael in a joyful, loving home environment. On the tougher early days, she just tried to get everyone safely to bedtime and start fresh in the morning. *wink* 
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