It’s Okay to Not be Okay

I know that our overall goal here at Mikey’s Journal is to take a positive approach.  I think it is truly helpful in most situations to try to figure out what you can do to impact things in a positive direction.

But some days are just awful. To protect Mikey’s privacy, I don’t share his worst days with you, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have them.

One day that I think Mikey would be okay if we share came on a recent car ride home from a family vacation. Due to traffic and lines for fast food, restrooms and gas, our ride lasted 12 HOURS. Ugh.  For the ENTIRE ride, Michael was requesting the train. He wanted to see the train. During some minutes of the drive, he repeated the request 10-15 times, IN A MINUTE…FOR 12 HOURS.  When I tell you that I was ready to completely lose my mind, I am not exaggerating. I know this is a relatively minor thing overall, but it felt like a well-planned torture technique.

During my college summers, I worked at a short-term treatment facility for kids with behavior problems.  I have seen it all.  I know many of you have kids who have meltdowns, engage in self-injurious behavior and lash out. I know it is frustrating and the professionals cannot always help. 

Even if you have a competent and helpful professional team working with your child, lots of the responsibility will fall on you. It is a heavy load to carry and sometimes you really need to let yourself feel the weight of it. 

Otherwise, I fear we push it all down and don’t end up handling the complex emotions that come with giving up a lot of our own life’s dreams and goals to make sure our kids are well cared-for.

My Saturday Suggestion is that you take whatever time you have to yourself and get some of those feelings out. For me, a good cry or a long run work pretty well, but whatever you need to do, make sure you’re letting yourself feel the feels before you go back to caring for everyone else…”like the bad-ass you are.”