Friend of Last Resort

I am not a huge proponent of parents being their children’s friends. In my view, being a parent is a unique role. Parents who try to be their child’s best friends often struggle to be clear about rules and boundaries.
The kids often come off looking disrespectful because they speak to their parents as they would their pals. It blurs the line in the child’s mind, causing them to take the parent’s authority for granted.
That said, when I was growing up and having a hard time socially, my mom would always remind me that she was my ‘friend of last resort.’ She didn’t mean that we were equals or that I could question her authority. Instead, it was a way for her to show up for me when I was sad or lonely.
We would go to the movies, play board games, go out to lunch or go for a walk. She helped me pass the time when things with my peers weren’t going too well.

Our Takeaway
As parents to kids with special needs, we may need to play this role a little more often than the average Momma Bear. That’s okay. We’ll make sure our kids feel loved and seen when the rest of the world is too busy, even if that just means taking a few minutes to take some silly selfies.
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About the Author
Erica Mauro is a mom to two teenage boys, Will who is neurotypical and Michael with Autism and cognitive delays. She holds a BA in Psychology from Colgate University and a Masters of Psychology in Education from Columbia Teacher’s College. Before staying home with her children, she worked as an elementary school teacher. For five years, she served on the Board of Directors of the Molly Ann Tango Memorial Foundation, a charity dedicated to enriching the lives of children with special needs. In partnership with her husband Dave, she aspires to parent by using daily life as an opportunity for therapeutic intervention, seizing on real experiences as opportunities to build skills and strategies for Michael in a joyful, loving home environment. On the tougher early days, she just tried to get everyone safely to bedtime and start fresh in the morning. *wink*
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