Effort Over Outcomes

My Saturday Suggestion for this week is to praise effort over results. I’d love to share two examples with you. They illustrate why praising your child’s efforts is the place to be to encourage the behavior you want.

The Smart Procrastinator

Let’s say your child is very good at a given subject. They have a project due which they leave to the last minute. They put in very little effort and end up getting a grade of a B. While you might be fine with them receiving a B on a project that is hard for them, they could easily have gotten an A if they put in the effort. I would hope I’d be able to help my child see their own potential and encourage them to put in more effort on the next project since the A is well within their reach.

The Struggling Worker

Now let’s imagine that your child struggles in school. They bring home their project and work on it a bit each night to try to make it the best it can be. They ask the teacher for guidance and clarification along the way. They work to improve over time. They also receive a B on this project. I would hope I could help my child see that what matters is that they put forth their best effort. I would focus on what they learned during the process and how they are growing as a student every day.

The Big Idea

Keep the praise focused on the effort because your child can’t always control the outcome. Especially for our special needs kiddos, mistakes will happen. Accidents will happen. Help protect their little hearts by seeing their effort and praising them for their hard work, even when things don’t work out as well as they had hoped.