Dr. Temple Grandin

Michael, and everyone else who has autism, is a whole, complete, human being.  They are not trapped inside their autism. They are not someone else inside.  In general, the world needs to reframe the way they regard autism.  It doesn’t get cured. Hard work and mastering coping strategies can help autistic people function very well in the typical world. That doesn’t mean having autism is not a challenge. For some, it is a crippling disability.

People with autism work hard to cope with the challenges of living in a neurotypical world. More and more, we are able to communicate and hear from people on the spectrum, of all ages. The more we can communicate with them, the more they help us to understand.

Temple Grandin has been a pioneer in this realm, as well as in her chosen field of Animal Behavior. She’s a keen observer and her insights are so helpful for neurotypical parents raising children with autism, especially when our own kids cannot express their own thoughts as clearly. That said, she is ONE voice. We should be listening to lots of different individuals with autism to hear their points of view.

Observing your child will give you lots of information as to what they like and don’t like. Hearing from people like Dr. Grandin fills in some of the blanks about why they may feel that way.

If we as parents (all of us, for each and every one of our kids), begin with the idea that our children are sentient beings, we’ll be better parents. 

Just because they don’t speak, doesn’t mean they do not understand, feel or think. Presume that they understand what you say and do. Then keep working to help them express themselves and be as independent as possible.

So practically, that means, don’t talk about them in a negative way in front of them. Save the venting you may need to do for a time when they are out of earshot. Ask the teacher to update you on a difficult day via e-mail instead of standing there and doing it right in front of your child. You get the idea…behave respectfully towards them and you’ll get the added benefit of modeling respectful behavior.