Confidence Over Clarity
Have you heard the phrase “Fake it ‘till you make it”? It gets thrown around a lot as a way to encourage people to show up and make an effort with confidence. The idea is that showing up and putting forth some effort with a confident attitude often gets us pretty far.
I wanted to share this message, but ‘faking it’ does not resonate with me at all. Faking it doesn’t feel like what we do when we are parenting. Nothing we do is fake. It’s a genuine effort each day filled with love and worry.
Then, I was taking an exercise class. At the start, the instructor said, “For those of you who are new to this, I know you’re not sure what to expect. I am asking you for confidence over clarity.”
There it is! Not faking it, but rather approaching each day with the confidence that we are uniquely suited to guide our kids on their journey towards independence. We will never have complete clarity. The universe does not provide a clear picture of what the next part of the journey will look like. We will always have to walk confidently forward so that our children can keep making progress.
We don’t get a map. We need to take the first steps, having no clue what lays ahead and the only way to do that is to ask ourselves for confidence over clarity.
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About the Author
Erica Mauro is a mom to two teenage boys, Will who is neurotypical and Michael with Autism and cognitive delays. She holds a BA in Psychology from Colgate University and a Masters of Psychology in Education from Columbia Teacher’s College. Before staying home with her children, she worked as an elementary school teacher. For five years, she served on the Board of Directors of the Molly Ann Tango Memorial Foundation, a charity dedicated to enriching the lives of children with special needs. In partnership with her husband Dave, she aspires to parent by using daily life as an opportunity for therapeutic intervention, seizing on real experiences as opportunities to build skills and strategies for Michael in a joyful, loving home environment. On the tougher early days, she just tried to get everyone safely to bedtime and start fresh in the morning. *wink* 
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