Be the Sherpa: A Perspective on Parenting Kids with Special Needs

I was watching a documentary on Mount Everest recently and I had a revelation. I am the sherpa. We are the sherpas and this is great news!

The Sherpa are a Himalayan ethnic group living on the border of Tibet and Nepal. They are known for their mountaineering skills, so much so, that their name has become synonymous with the guides who make the ascent up Mount Everest possible for the thousands of adventurers who attempt it each year.

Our children are the mountain climbers. Their life with special needs in a typical world is the mountain. It is their adventure!

Grace Under Pressure

We are their guides. Our ability to climb the mountain with grace under pressure enables our kids to do the same.

We pave the way, carry the equipment, prepare for the challenges that lie ahead.

We are there to celebrate them, to remind them to stop and take in the beautiful vistas that are visible to them due to their hard work.

We snap their picture to document their climb, helping to shape the memories of this sometimes difficult journey. By focusing on the positive, we are helping them craft their tale of triumph.

We fiercely protect our climbers on their journey and help them find their way to their personal summit.

To enable them to be their best, we listen to them with respect. They may tell us with their words, or they may show us that they are struggling. Our job is not to charge ahead, even if we have traveled this trail many times before. We meet them where they are and we hike onward together.

Listening and Respecting their Journey

We may know an easier path so we can show them a more manageable way to get where they are going. We may need to lay a ladder across a crevasse to allow them to cross safely. But all the while, we remember, it is their mountain to conquer so we need to respect their journey.

The world remembers Sir Edmond Hillary and not his Sherpa who made his success possible. His name was Tenzing Norgay, by the way. Even though your journey as a special needs parent will often go unrecognized, the accomplishments of the children you raise are a credit to you and would not be possible without you.

Just as venturing up the mountain at the start of a hike can feel overwhelming, so can our parenting journey. It occurred to me that at a certain point in their climb, although Tenzing Norgay was the ‘guide’, he too was completely unsure of the path ahead. This is the part that feels familiar as a parent of a special needs child. The feeling of not knowing what is ahead, taking a deep breath, and moving ahead with courage and confidence anyway. Because as overwhelmed as we might feel, our children need us!

As we near the top, the breathtaking view is always better than we imagined. Our expedition as parents of kids with special needs will reveal a beauty in the world like no other. Lace up your boots, my friends. This is going to be amazing!

Mikey’s Journal

Don’t believe me? Our family has snapped many pictures documenting our climb. Our son, Michael kept a journal for several years and its pages are the proof that life with special needs can be filled with silliness, connection, and successes big and small!

Our purpose in sharing Mikey’s journal with you is to show day by day, that family life with a special needs child is filled with love and beauty and joy. At mikeysjournal.com, our family will share Mikey’s Journal as a daily reminder that what lies ahead for your family may feel like an insurmountable challenge, but as your child’s Sherpa, you are uniquely qualified to guide them along the way.

Tenzing Norgay, also referred to as Sherpa Tenzing, summited Mount Everest accompanied by Sir Edmund Hillary on May 29, 1953. It was his 39th birthday. They are the first two people known to reach the summit.

Be strong! Be determined! Lead the way with joy! Be the Sherpa!