Ash Wednesday

Our family is Catholic and our boys attended religious education at our local Catholic Church. I attended class with Mikey as his one-on-one aide. I just called ahead and let them know that Mikey would be joining the class and that I would be there to make sure he participated appropriately and was not disruptive. 

I think the kids had class, focused on learning about the ashes and why we get them. Then, there was a special Mass for the kids in which the families could all get ashes together.

We also attended Mass on Sundays. This was very challenging for Mikey. We belong to a small country church that doesn’t have a crying room or a space to go if your child is being loud. My compromise was as follows: although you are not supposed to eat in church, I did bring small, quiet snacks for Mikey. 

I handed them to him one by one as he was keeping a quiet mouth and a calm body. I brought enough to get us through the length of a normal Mass, although sometimes a visiting priest would throw me off with an extra long Homily. I know this is not strictly to the letter of the law, but here’s my thinking.

If you have met Mikey, you know – there may not be another human being closer to God. Mikey and God are on good terms. So, I felt no shame or worry about doing what I needed to do to get Mikey through Mass. 

If anyone in your faith community is making you feel guilty for any similar compromise, look to the tenets of your faith and see for yourself if you think God would be more worried about some snacks or for shaming a family with a special needs child. I’m not losing any sleep over it myself.